I have changed my topic to speeches regarding the police force especially their misuse of power.
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Analysis of Videos
Video 1: How Bad Do You Want It? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jal4OkZtz8g)
Video 2: I Am a Champion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX39J_YyKbs)
The genre of the speeches that I chose was that of inspiration, both speeches have a direct purpose in trying to motivate the listener.
The speaker of the first video is Eric Thomas, a man who does professional motivational speaking for a living. His purpose is to motivate a group of Michigan State University students through a speech regarding success. His audience is a group of young college students mostly ages 18-21, who attended one of his lectures. His direct message to the students is to motivate themselves to a point where they can change their lives and become more successful in their everyday activities. Upon further review it could be seen that his implied message is that todays generation is lacking in personal responsibility as well as the necessary skills it takes to become successful. He relies heavily on the use of pathos to appeal to his audiences emotions through his use of vernacular as well as the passion displayed in his voice.
The speaker for the second video was the coach of a young youth football team named Coach Flowers. His purpose is also to motivate his audience through an intense and almost angry speech. His audience is his team that he coaches which seems to consist mostly of high school athletes. His direct message is that they must defeat the opposing team. The implied message could be that his team needs to find inspiration in his words and use it to not only defeat the team that they are playing but to develop as men as well. For the most part Coach Flowers relies on pathos to reach his audience using intense vocabulary as well as increasing the volume of his voice to get a rise out of the emotions of his team.
Rhetorical Analysis of Colleague’s Essay: Matt Sands
The author of the paper was my peer and colleague Matt Sands, who wrote his paper on the ineffectiveness of school uniforms. He develops his credibility mostly from his first-hand experience of attending a school that also required a uniform. Such knowledge can be very influential, and provided him with plenty of in-depth information for his paper. His audience seems to be school administrators, parents with children in school, teachers, or even school children. The direct message of this paper is evident, as it is stated in his thesis statement, which is that school uniforms produce little if no benefit toward a children’s education or the school atmosphere. Upon further analysis it could be seen that his implied message is that schools often times may over step there boundaries in how far they should impede on the natural born rights of every student. The writer structures his essay in a very unique way, by first presenting the positives of school uniforms in the first few pages. He includes statistics stating the benefits as well as anecdotes reflecting the safety that school uniforms may provide. After providing the positive side of the view, he begins to support his original thesis through personal anecdotes as well as the view that school uniforms are an unconstitutionally sound and inhibit a students individuality. Both, valid points that I also used in my argument against school uniforms. I do not necessarily find this style of organization very successful. It seems that too much time is spent focusing on the opposite of what is stated in the thesis statement. There are nearly two pages written on the support of the opposing view before the authors true argument is presented. Although it allows both sides of the argument to be presented in the end it does more to counteract against the original argument being presented. Throughout the paper it seems the author is trying to make you see both sides, but instead make you realize one that one is argument is better than the other. In the first half of the paper the author heavily relies on the use of logos in his arguments. There are numerous facts presented such as “..the crime rate had dropped by 91%, school suspensions by 90%, sexual offenses by 96%, and incidents of vandalism had dropped by 69%….”. This leads to the author backing up the point opposite of his thesis which in the end takes away some of his credibility as it relates to his thesis. Towards the end of the paper the author relies more on ethos by countering with the point that uniforms are constitutionally unfair as well as restricting to a students individuality. The most successful part of the writers paper was his use of personal experience. These anecdotes from his true life stories in school build up his credibility as a writer and bring more evidence to support is thesis. The part that confuses me the most is when he jumps right from his thesis into an argument supporting the opposite view, it confuses the writer into being unsure of what point is actually being presented. My best advice for a final draft in the portfolio is to present the argument with less points supporting the other side and more evidence supporting the original thesis.
Are School Uniforms the Right Fit?
Tucker Brookshire
English 101
9/9/11
Are School Uniforms the Right Fit?
The idea of forcing someone to wear a mandatory uniform seems to be very authoritarian, and is normally a practice only used by things like the military or in your job. However the last place you would expect to find such autocratic and seemingly tyrannical ideas is in the schools of young children. Such an idea is rapidly gaining support all across the world. Nevertheless, my own view is that although in principle uniforms may seem like a good idea, they ultimately lead to an increase in bullying, take away one of the most interesting and exciting aspects of school; individuality and take an unnecessary path to an easy solution.
First, uniforms will lead to an increase in bullying. This thought is often seen in the complete opposite by proponents of school uniforms, stating that school uniforms would stop students from making fun of another student for what they wear, since everyone is wearing the same thing. However while you may do away with one negative aspect of bullying one more arises; now students will be made fun of for how they fill out the uniforms. Students who are overweight or have other deformities such as acne, or shortened height will now stand out in the crowd and be seen as easy targets. “While uniforms do assuage the best-clothes competition, they create a new and more painful contest: the best-body competition” says Alicia Thomas a writer for http://www.pennlive.com. I can speak to this fact through personal experience as I have a brother who is very obese. Although he has since graduated high school, I saw him go through years and years of torment from his fellow classmates due to his weight issues. My brother attended a public school without a uniform requirement. If he had attended a school where uniforms are required I have no doubt that the bullying would have been much worse. The focus of a bully is more concentrated when there is a uniform policy. Instead of being able to pick on a person for multiple things his focus is now shifted to their most obvious traits. As well as being picked on for their physical disparages, school uniforms also lead to more bullying based on where they got their clothes. Some students may purchase their clothes from higher end retailers, and may be able to purchase “name-brand” labels, while other students may be forced to purchase their clothes from less recognizable labels such as Wal-Mart or Target. This once again allows a bully to target yet another facet of a students uniform. Bullying is nearly impossible to do away with all together, and school uniforms do little to change that, although they may decrease one aspect of the bully’s arsenal, it still opens up other avenues to aggravate.
Secondly, mandatory school uniforms take away one of the most exciting and interesting aspects of school; individuality. In a society where most schools are built in a insignificant and boring fashion, with plain white walls and drab floors, the vibrance and excitement of the students is the last line of defense to what seems to be an attack on the freedom of expression of schoolchildren all across the world. School is a time where we both gain an education, as well as develop our own unique personality. What you wear and how you dress is a key element in the development of your identity. It is easy to say that your outfit should not determined by how you dress, which is partially true, however to state that it plays no role is completely ignorant. In a time where students barely know themselves it is imperative that they have all the necessary tools at hand to help them grow and develop their inner as well as their outer personality. Uniforms not only take away your individuality as a student but your rights as a citizen as well. Upon entering a school campus you are immediately stripped of a majority of your god-given rights, now administrators want to take away one of the few rights that we have left, it hardly seems fair. This practice of stripping entire communities of simple rights and values is most commonly seen and practiced in corrupt, and malevolent dictatorships as well as in communist countries such as South Korea or even modern day China. To see the same principle being used on school campuses seems not only absurd but completely against what we pride ourselves on as Americans; our freedom of speech. As stated in the United States constitution, our first amendment confirms that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” This amendment proves that taking away the students freedom of choice directly contradicts what is being taught to them in school. How can we tell students one thing, then demand an entirely different and conflicting set of rules? It is an unfair and seemingly illegal process. In an article on Cornell University Law School’s website they describe the role of this amendment as “the most basic component of freedom of expression is the right of freedom of speech. The right to freedom of speech allows individuals to express themselves without interference or constraint by the government.” In this case it is the school government that is interfering with, and constraining the students freedom. Evidently it is decidedly clear that even the idea of school designated attire is a blatant violation of a students first amendment right. School uniforms take away a students natural born rights, as well as taking away one of the most necessary and important traits to growth and development; a students individuality.
Finally, school uniforms take an unnecessary path to an easy solution. Proponents of a school uniform argue that they will cut down on gang activity by preventing them from displaying their gang colors, prevent students from wearing scandalous outfits to school, and even cut down on the amount of clothing that includes politically offensive, racially sensitive, or just outright insulting slogans or phrases. However what these uniform advocates fail to realize is the fact all of the problems mentioned above can just as easily be solved with a simple, yet strict school dress code. Dress codes attack all these problems, yet still allow students to maintain their individuality as well as their freedom of speech. At some schools they even “require students to have the belt line exposed at all times for fear of guns concealed under clothing” says Larry Wilder in his letter written for www.fresno.edu.com. Even such simple changes as raising the belt line can lead to safer schools, as well as making the job of the administrators much easier without asking too much of students and parents. It is the best of both worlds, giving students not only their god-given rights, but also maintaining a professional yet safe and educational environment. “Ruby Luke, the extracurricular secretary-treasurer at Lincoln (Middle School in Indianapolis), said the looser policy had resulted in fewer interruptions during class, because teachers rarely have to eject students from class to change into regulation clothing. “The kids are much happier, and there are not nearly as many dress code violations.” ” writes blogger Stephanie Clifford in an article she researched for the New York Times. This proves that not only does a dress code keep the children happy but can also lend a significant hand in cutting down on bad behavior. After all, a happy student is a well behaved student. The use of a school dress code can satisfy both sides by providing safety and professionalism as well as allowing students to keep their rights and individuality.
In conclusion, it is clear that school uniforms do little to positively affect the school atmosphere as well as the feelings and motivation of students. It is an over thought and overdone idea that in the end leads to more loose ends than it does actual solutions. At a time where we are fighting for freedom and democracy across the world the best we can do is continue to represent it here at home. Louis D. Brandeis a former Associate Justice to the Supreme Court once said “America has believed that in differentiation, not in uniformity, lies the path of progress. It acted on this belief, it has advanced human happiness, and it has prospered.” Let us continue to prosper, and never rely upon uniformity to shape who we are today.
Maya Angelou’s Graduation
In Maya Angelou’s article on her graduation there are two speakers. There is Mr. Edward Dunleavy, a seemingly ignorant and foolish man who shows very little empathy towards his audience, and Henry Reed, the valedictorian of his class who seems very intelligent and has a broad knowledge of his audiences perspective. Although both have the duty of addressing an identical audience, they approach it in very different and conflicting manners. Their differing styles lead to very distinct reaction from the audience.
Mr. Edward Dunleavy is a white man whom the school brought in as the guest speaker for their graduation. His purpose is to present a speech that can help to bring closure to the final minutes of the young schoolchildren’s educational careers. Although the audience he is addressing is filled with a majority of black schoolchildren, their parents, family, and friends he hardly seems to take into account whom exactly he is speaking too. The message that Mr. Dunleavy delivers is one that praises the school and its inhabitants for their rich history in sports, and describes many of the memories that many white athletes have made there. He lays out a dream crushing disposition that paints the students future as one that is mediocre and filled with low-end jobs and visions of the possibility of fame through athletics. It seems that Mr. Dunleavy was trying to break down the dreams of the audience rather than lift them up. He delivers a direct message that he may feel is helping them, but indirectly he may be delivering a message that can hurt the ambitions of a young student. Edward seems to rely more on a logos appeal, he tells them what new things will be put into schools, and does little to appeal to the emotional or ethical side of the audience. In the end I feel Mr. Dunleavy failed his purpose of bringing closure to the students final moments of school
Henry Reed is a young student who attends the school, he is smart well spoken and articulate. His purpose is similar to Mr. Dunleavy’s in the sense that he is trying to bring a solid end to the final moments of their educational career. Although they shared the same audience Henry approached them in a much different manner. One that uplifted their spirits and even brought tears to the eyes of Maya. Instead of preaching to the crowd Henry turned his back and began to sing a popular poem to the crowd. This leads to a great revival of emotions from the crowd , and allows them to join along as they sang in unison. This is what I believe Henry wanted them too feel, he wanted them to shake off the message that had just been delivered and accept what they all knew to be true, to accept the idea that their future was bright. Henry was largely using pathos logic to pull at the emotional heartstrings of the crowd. He was clearly successful at this as he even brought tears to the eyes of Maya Angelou.
Clearly both speakers used different rhetorical appeals and approached their audience in a very different manner. In the end Henry was more successful through his use of emotional appeal.
Thesis Statement
My own view is that although in principle uniforms may seem like a good idea, they ultimately take away one of the most interesting and exciting aspects of school; individuality,as well leading to an increase in spending by parents, as well leading to an increase in bullying
In recent discussions of freedom of speech, a controversial issue has been whether or not high school students should be required to wear uniforms to class. Althoughin principle uniforms may seem like a good idea, they ultimately take away one of the most interesting and exciting aspects of school; individuality, as well leading to an increase in spending by parents, as well leading to an increase in bullying. A uniform requirement strips students of the thing that makes them different. It allows for no originality in a place where there is already little enough. It also leads to an increase in spending by parents. Now parents must spend money on five pairs of khaki’s, as well as five polo’s. However these polo’s must fit each students size and for a family with more than one child this can be incredibly expensive. Uniforms even increase bullying by turning it from a who’s clothes are nicest to a who fills out the clothes better competition. This leads to harsher critique of students features that are much harder to change than just a simple wardrobe change.
The group discussion helped me to realize that athough two of my points may have made sense much more money could be saved through the use of uniforms. I also gained new ideas as well as a new reason to replace with my cost reason, which is that uniforms do exactly what a dress code does but has more negative effects.
Theme Analysis
The theme i chose to use for my blog was called Mystique. Upon seeing this theme I immediately knew it was the perfect fit for me. I had already seen numerous boring, black and white, very simple themes that lacked character and excitement, as well as over the top bright, colorful, and distrracting themes that drew more attention to the background than too my actual work. One of the reasons that I like mystique so much is that it drew attention through its color scheme but did not steal attention away from my work. It was the perfect balance. This theme gives me credibility as a writer by allowing my blog to stand out but not to the point where its design is the main attraction.
The audience that I am addressing is clearly my classmates. This theme can be appreciated by them due to the fact that its is not boring to look at, something I’m sure anyone reading despises. Instead they are welcomed to an exciting layout with even more exciting information, and entries. The colors are inviting, yet not “blinding”, the entries will be informative yet far from boring. Through both the theme I have chosen as well as the entries I will post I plan to allow both my writing skills as well as my personality to shine through and create as great of a blog as I can.
TuckerBrookshire 